8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
