so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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