I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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