He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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