I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
