it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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