Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
