Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
