Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
