he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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