I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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