do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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