The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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