You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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