I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
