He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
