I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it was like eating out sand paper
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
