do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
