i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
