so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize