Having a random hookup so left but love u
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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