Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
