last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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