Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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