He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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