How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize