I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
