It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There r osticjed everywhere
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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