i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
