Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
