Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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