IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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