Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
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Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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