I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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