Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
