Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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