I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
