i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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