if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
