Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
