is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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