There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
