Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
