Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
