Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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