He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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