Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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