Having a random hookup so left but love u
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
