i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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