I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
