go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
BRING THE BAGELS
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
