I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize