Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
