In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
