so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
