I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
